A Look at Ka Freddie's Wedding

Recently, news outlets and social media were filled with the headline about the wedding of Philippine music legend Freddie Aguilar. He married his 16-year-old-girlfriend under Islamic rites in Maguindanao on November 22, 2013. 

Freddie Aguilar

This turned into mixed reactions. While some affectionately congratulated them, others frowned at this that he and his partner converted into Islam for no other reason than just to get married. (yes, they are considered as converts and were even given muslim names.)

But wait a second, let's not point those hasty "bad" conclusions to the great man. Whether they'll be good muslims or not is God's business for no-one can exactly know what's in their hearts for that matter. Let's set aside that.

As of this moment, from where we see it, there are two certain things:

1. Islam offers the solution to human needs.

Unlike other religions wherein celibacy is advocated, In Islam marriage is encouraged. It is even said that when a man marries, he has completed half of the faith. Islam permits the marriage once the primary requirements are met: the consent of the groom, the bride and the bride's parents (or guardian) had consented, mahr or bridal gift, witnesses, and (possibly) pre-nuptial conditions set by both parties. 

As to the age of the two, as long as they are "old enough." And there is no restriction on the age gap.

So, even if the man is relatively older than the woman or the reverse, as long as these requirements are met the marriage of the two are considered decent and honorable in Islamic point of view. 

If a man, for example, failed to marry while he was young, became too much busy with other things in his life. And only at some later years in his life that he found the time for marriage. In Islam, he is still given the chance to marry not only to woman about his age but also to younger one. Whether he marries old or young woman, he is respected just like any other married man in Islam. 

In western society, this is shameful. To avoid the sneer of the general public, an old man (if he couldn't find a woman about his age) would be forced to practice celibacy or worse, involved in rape, fornication or prostitution. Would you like to see sir Freddie get married legally or discover him involved in those immoral acts?

2. Their love is too great.

Sir Freddie is a legendary singer. No doubt. His tune and meaningful lyrics can never be forgotten. His reputation is already well built through the decades. His fans is almost everywhere.

Yet, he and his new wife submitted to Islam to make their love legal through matrimony. . . Even if that appeared to a betrayal to the christian community for some people, or even if that appeared to be abandoning their comrade and his fans, they could bravely do it. They don't really care about what other people might say. How could they? Its a proof of their great love for each other. Now, isn't that something?

May their marriage be a happy one. And if their conversion to Islam was only for their marriage, may the Almighty make this as a mean to find the absolute truth that they may become true muslims.
$latex \square $

References:
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/entertainment/11/22/13/teen-explains-why-she-married-freddie-aguilar
http://www.pep.ph/news/41281/Freddie-Aguilar-after-marrying-16-year-old-girlfriend-under-Muslim-rites:-Sana-tumigil-na-ang-detractors-namin.
The photo above is from http://entertainment.inquirer.net/122665/lawyer-accusing-freddie-aguilar-gets-death-threats

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Terminal - A book review

The cover of the book Terminal written by Prof Almayrah Tiburon.

Terminal is a book containing collection of Short Stories. This book was originally written by a friend, Prof. Almayrah Tiburon, a Filipino professor of MSU-Main. It contains eleven beautiful short stories whose settings are in the parallel realm of Marawi City and featuring the Meranao people and culture, and some issues that have existed in the region. All of them are written in Filipino language with some phrases in Meranao dialect. A glossary is included where the readers may find the concise meanings of some hard Filipino and Meranao terms.

They mention Horror Stories, Meranao culture, Drug addiction, Disadvantages of working abroad, Betrayal to one's spouse, prostitution, witchcraft, ghosts, and marriage and divorce. The descriptions are clear and did not fail in capturing my full attention when I was reading them.

I may say that the author is very talented in writing... so talented that she can even make up stories about physical objects. In the book, two of the eleven stories were even entitled after two things: container and Dyaket. At just knowing these titles, you might wonder what are the plots of these stories?

I also like the story entitled "Lamber." It's about a young man who became a drug addict. In the plot, his hallucinations, and struggles of his loving family were seriously depicted. I could related to this kind of story for in the past I had also met some of people like these. Indeed, prohibited drugs can shatter one's life. The shattered dream and misery in this plot is too great that it was made into a short film. The film was shot right in the campus where the author is working as a college professor. It is yet to be submitted in a competition of short films.

The author also explores the story of married people in another story entitled "L'pad." In this story, while her husband went out of Philippines to work abroad, she was tempted, and had a love affair with a married man. The secret and forbidden love were enjoyed by both. Certainly, truth would be known. And the shameful acts of these two people were eventually discovered, and known by their family and extended relatives. The author exploits this conflict to introduce to the readers the law provided by the Meranao culture in dealing with these kinds of issues.

But if I were to decide which among the twelve have attracted me the most, it would be “Paktol.”

“Paktol” is story about witchcraft, love and revenge. In this story, Yusoph and Sahara were married. The marriage seemed to be perfect; Husband is a responsible man; wife is kind, very loving and a good daughter who came from a clan of good family background; man and wife is in good compatibility and in constant care and love for each other; their in-laws are in good terms. And this marriage became even happier when they were blessed with a son after a year in union.

 

But this colorful living came into gloomy atmosphere when Yusoph fell sick one morning. Each passing day, the sickness became worse. Instead of going to a doctor, he went up to a pamomolong, a Meranaw term for one who is good healer at sickness if were caused by witchcraft. But even the pamomolong admitted that this magic was all too strong. And this kind could have only been done by a person who had been wronged by Yusoph in the past. And the author at this point unfurls the past history of Yusoph using a flashback.

The culprit was a woman named Aklimah, someone who had fallen in love with Yusoph so madly when they were still in college. She didn’t feel love from her direct family and so she became too engrossed upon Yusoph’s comfort. She had totally believed that he was her only ticket to happiness in life. One day, they discovered that she was pregnant and she rejoiced at this. For Aklimah, this was assurance to finally be his legal wife. For him and his family this was shame and immorality. His parents disapproved her to be his wife. And he was a very obedient son and eventually he ended up with Sahara, the woman his family favored. This was way too painful for Aklimah. Her life even became bitter when she lost her unborn baby with Yusoph. The feeling of being betrayed and forsaken by her man and hated by his family resulted to despair and evil plot in bitter vengeance.

The conflict in arranged marriage in Meranao and other muslim cultures in Philippines is common. But the battle in this story became most unique since it is mixed with witchcraft. You’d be surprised at how the author vividly described the procedure in using witchcraft to take revenge, exploiting the blood of the dead unborn child, the miserable scene created where the faithful wife carrying the burden of feeling not able to find any medicine to her husband’s harsh unknown sickness. While I was reading this, I felt I was there at the scenes where it had all occurred.

Is there such a cure for even the most powerful black magic ever known? Will the bad spirit of vengeance prevail over the love for the good man she had cherished the most?  

To find out the what's the ending of this story and to feel the thrill and suspense of stories like these, you’ll have to read this book.

Terminal by Prof. Almayrah Tiburon is available at the Filipino Department, College of Social Sciences and Humanities in MSU-Main Campus. $latex \square$

I asked her to write something for me in my copy of her book since she was the author. And there they are, those inspiring words for me. :-)

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Which is better: Early marriage or Late marriage?

     "I think it is best to have late marriage." pronounced a friend suddenly few years ago.

     "Why is that so?," I asked. Then the conversation flooded with reasons. 

     

Don’t judge the book by its cover – so the saying goes. It means we must not draw out our conclusions so hastily over something based on its outer looks, but we should delve first into it for us to see what is there to see other than its deceptive covers.

          Both early and late marriages have their merits in their own right. To a person, the advantage of late marriage conquers all. To someone else, the opposite may be true. OK, so that we may be able to learn and decide which one is better for us, let’s draw some of facts on the table.

Late Marriage

          Late marriage gives freedom to a person and that includes getting control of finances. He doesn't have to worry about spending his hard-earned dosh on an unappreciative partner. Freedom on time, he may spend more time on good-for-all-guys occasions and can go for long week vacations without any worries of getting hit by flying plates thrown by the angry partner when he gets home. Others find it advantageous for being able to focus more on their careers and may be able to support their younger siblings.

          When the time of tying the knot comes, he may have the financial stability and will be fully matured to handle and shall be able manage his new family very well.

          But being single for too long in the society can also pose several risks.

        The age gap between the parents and the children may become very far. By the time the first son has fully grown, the father may no longer be able to play basketball with him!

        And single persons are prone to temptations especially towards the opposite sex. That means the longer one stay single, the longer he will have to struggle against that.

Early Marriage

          On the other side, people who are in early marriages may not possess the financial stability (that the people in late marriages have) and they may not be matured enough at the time when they start to build their new family.

          Nevertheless, there are insights or level of thinking that can only be attained upon marriage. So as time goes on they will learn on how to establish their finance and be able to deal with their situations. The age gap between the parents and their children will be less. When their son gets old enough, the father can still play basketball with him.

          From the Islamic point of view, being single is like making a fast. Just like in fasting, a person has the strong desire to satisfy his hunger yet it is forbidden for him to do so during the time of fast. So is being single, a person has the desire to be with someone from the opposite sex yet it is not allowed if they are not yet married. By tradition there are plenty of reward one can get from giving a person food to break his fast. How plenty would then be the reward of legally breaking the fast of staying single by giving one’s self through marriage!

          So looking at these, which one do you think is better?
        But before we finally decide for ourselves, let's not forget the following saying of the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam)

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Narrated 'Alqama: While I was with `Abdullah, `Uthman met him at Mina and said, "O Abu `Abdur Rahman ! I have something to say to you." So both of them went aside and `Uthman said, "O Abu `Abdur−Rah. man! Shall we marry you to a virgin who will make you remember your past days?" When `Abdullah felt that he was not in need of that, he beckoned me (to join him) saying, "O 'Alqama!" Then I heard him saying (in reply to `Uthman), "As you have said that, (I tell you that) the Prophet once said to us, 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Bukhari)

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