Which is better: Early marriage or Late marriage?

     "I think it is best to have late marriage." pronounced a friend suddenly few years ago.

     "Why is that so?," I asked. Then the conversation flooded with reasons. 

     

Don’t judge the book by its cover – so the saying goes. It means we must not draw out our conclusions so hastily over something based on its outer looks, but we should delve first into it for us to see what is there to see other than its deceptive covers.

          Both early and late marriages have their merits in their own right. To a person, the advantage of late marriage conquers all. To someone else, the opposite may be true. OK, so that we may be able to learn and decide which one is better for us, let’s draw some of facts on the table.

Late Marriage

          Late marriage gives freedom to a person and that includes getting control of finances. He doesn't have to worry about spending his hard-earned dosh on an unappreciative partner. Freedom on time, he may spend more time on good-for-all-guys occasions and can go for long week vacations without any worries of getting hit by flying plates thrown by the angry partner when he gets home. Others find it advantageous for being able to focus more on their careers and may be able to support their younger siblings.

          When the time of tying the knot comes, he may have the financial stability and will be fully matured to handle and shall be able manage his new family very well.

          But being single for too long in the society can also pose several risks.

        The age gap between the parents and the children may become very far. By the time the first son has fully grown, the father may no longer be able to play basketball with him!

        And single persons are prone to temptations especially towards the opposite sex. That means the longer one stay single, the longer he will have to struggle against that.

Early Marriage

          On the other side, people who are in early marriages may not possess the financial stability (that the people in late marriages have) and they may not be matured enough at the time when they start to build their new family.

          Nevertheless, there are insights or level of thinking that can only be attained upon marriage. So as time goes on they will learn on how to establish their finance and be able to deal with their situations. The age gap between the parents and their children will be less. When their son gets old enough, the father can still play basketball with him.

          From the Islamic point of view, being single is like making a fast. Just like in fasting, a person has the strong desire to satisfy his hunger yet it is forbidden for him to do so during the time of fast. So is being single, a person has the desire to be with someone from the opposite sex yet it is not allowed if they are not yet married. By tradition there are plenty of reward one can get from giving a person food to break his fast. How plenty would then be the reward of legally breaking the fast of staying single by giving one’s self through marriage!

          So looking at these, which one do you think is better?
        But before we finally decide for ourselves, let's not forget the following saying of the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam)

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Narrated 'Alqama: While I was with `Abdullah, `Uthman met him at Mina and said, "O Abu `Abdur Rahman ! I have something to say to you." So both of them went aside and `Uthman said, "O Abu `Abdur−Rah. man! Shall we marry you to a virgin who will make you remember your past days?" When `Abdullah felt that he was not in need of that, he beckoned me (to join him) saying, "O 'Alqama!" Then I heard him saying (in reply to `Uthman), "As you have said that, (I tell you that) the Prophet once said to us, 'O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Bukhari)

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